Learning to Accept CLL and other Diagnoses
It is not easy when your doctor sits you down and tell you that you have Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL) or any other type of cancer. I know it is a sad and scary situation.
My husband was alive then. He was my fiancé at the time. I was diagnosed Dec 2, 2014. We got married Dec 20,2014. Anyway, when I was diagnosed I saw the look in his eyes. The fear and sadness he had in his eyes, tore into my soul, but he never knew it.
I could not feel for me because my heart was breaking for my family. That is the moment I realized I have to be the strong one.
In order for me to become strong with this news. I had to remember Peace be Still. I had to accept my condition with peace in my heart. To cheer my family backup, I had to be the cheer. I had to pretend I was Okay when my body was turning against me.
I pretended until my heart just accepted it. One thing I realize is death is part of life. My granddaughter told me this “Everyone wants to go to Heaven but no one wants to die”. I accept death. I say bring it. I am going to live until I die.
In order for you to deal with your diagnoses you have to accept it. You have to make peace with it. I realize, the more you fight it the faster it wins. The more you deny it the stronger it gets. I hope you know God wants you to give it to him. Trust God to handle it.
To me it’s not so bad. It made me a better person. It taught me how to live. It taught me how to appreciate what I have. It taught me not to stress for anything. Not to get upset. Just be HAPPY! That’s it, be HAPPY. Happiness is a Choice. So many people say “I’ll be happy if or when”. Be happy NOW!! Being happy helps your family cope better and accept it a little more with ease.